Changes and plans
The thing about change is that it is extremely uncomfortable. If anyone is like me, then change is usually unplanned and rushes in like a whirlwind with no explanations. I don't know if it is good thing as I have mentioned before I am a planner. If anything doesn't go according to plan then my entire world has been affected.
However, last year I decided to go with the flow and not make any plans. It had been a roller coaster ride. As the year slowly crawled to an end I felt as though I had been through a washing machine and yet to come out. I was and still am constantly tired and there are so many things to do but not enough time. There is nothing like work-life balance, that sort died by March 2018. I don't know where 'relaxing' is and definitely holiday ran away from me. All the things that would make me be as 'normal' as possible. I am not sure I was ever meant to be 'normal' thought, it is not a batch of honour but I believe it is the craziness of all these things that make my life a little less boring.
In as much as I have enjoyed all the excitement of jumping from one crazy project to another. It is time I go back to planning. I realised with not making plans I have said yes to too many things. It is taking a lot from me and perhaps taking me away from things that are important (I still need to find out what those important things are though). I think saying yes means I am not confident enough to stay in my designated lane of profession. I guess I am still finding myself, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. That entire thing about following a single path in life has never been appealing to me so I doubt at 80 I will have this fixed thing I do.
However, I still want to make sense out of the the messiness of my life. I want to be more sociable and have physical conversations with people other than one business plan or project. I have to admit I dont know how to do that any more. I am willing to learn. Although I draw the line when it comes to small talk that is something I refuse to learn. I will not do small talk that is my limit. I want to be more present taking you guys along my journey of 2019. I hope I experience new places.
Change is scary but necessary for growth and adaptability. I want to grow and be adaptable.
However, last year I decided to go with the flow and not make any plans. It had been a roller coaster ride. As the year slowly crawled to an end I felt as though I had been through a washing machine and yet to come out. I was and still am constantly tired and there are so many things to do but not enough time. There is nothing like work-life balance, that sort died by March 2018. I don't know where 'relaxing' is and definitely holiday ran away from me. All the things that would make me be as 'normal' as possible. I am not sure I was ever meant to be 'normal' thought, it is not a batch of honour but I believe it is the craziness of all these things that make my life a little less boring.
In as much as I have enjoyed all the excitement of jumping from one crazy project to another. It is time I go back to planning. I realised with not making plans I have said yes to too many things. It is taking a lot from me and perhaps taking me away from things that are important (I still need to find out what those important things are though). I think saying yes means I am not confident enough to stay in my designated lane of profession. I guess I am still finding myself, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. That entire thing about following a single path in life has never been appealing to me so I doubt at 80 I will have this fixed thing I do.
However, I still want to make sense out of the the messiness of my life. I want to be more sociable and have physical conversations with people other than one business plan or project. I have to admit I dont know how to do that any more. I am willing to learn. Although I draw the line when it comes to small talk that is something I refuse to learn. I will not do small talk that is my limit. I want to be more present taking you guys along my journey of 2019. I hope I experience new places.
Change is scary but necessary for growth and adaptability. I want to grow and be adaptable.
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